<

shiny objects

Thursday, March 11, 2004


Each student of my sociology class was required to write a 500 word report and present it at the communal lecturn. Usually, people circumvent this staggering academic endeavor by pasting something from the internet into a word document and turning it as their own. One such slothful lad - we'll call him Jake - had his turn to present the other day. He displayed the public speaking abilities of a drunken Polish janitor; even the word "theraputic" sent him into a death-spiral of stutters and curses.

"Jake," said Mr. Rice chidingly, "don't you have command of the english language? What about diction and projection?"

Before Jake could answer, I called from the back row - "I dunno Mr. Rice, but from back here it seems that his diction is projecting juuuust fine!" then grinned stupidly and pretended to stare wide-eyed at the poor boy's crotch.

BAM. Direct comedic hit. Insert uproarious laughter. Pleasing these kids is easy - you just have to get on the lowest common denominator.


|