Second post today. What can I say? Things have been off the wall. Here's a poem to keep you busy, competely composed out of break up excuses . . . .
Fifty Ways To End Up Alone
This isn't working out
We're drifting apart
We've changed
You've changed
I've had a change of heart
My career comes first
You can't rely on me
I'm sick of your consuming codependency
I'm gay
I'm bi
Confused? So am I
I'm just looking for some closure
My love just . . . died
We're too young to settle down
We're too old to play games
I hate to say it, but I don't remember your name
If we'd only met sooner
You waited too long
We've been too busy
The spark is gone
Consider the future
It's for our own good
We haven't been talking as much as we should
We're not clicking
You've been drinking
My biological clock is ticking
I've been thinking that it's time to go about our separate ways
I can't bear your drug addiction
We don't share the same convictions
Gotta face the facts - accept that love can't live in yesterday
You sound like my mother
You act like a child
Your tastes in the bedroom are a little too wild
I faked it every time
We have no chemistry
You're frigid
You're flaccid
It was NOT good for me
I'm fed up with creditors and paying your debt
You make me wish that we'd never met
I've found someone better
My love's gone astray
We're packing for Rio and running away
You're not my true soul-mate
I'm not your prince charming
Your sexual history is truly alarming
It's no big surprise, but three strikes and you're out
In that case, I can see there's no alternate route
This isn't the way that I thought we would end
But when its all over, can we still be friends?
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Pardon the absence, gentle readers, but I needed the time off. Now, to get back in the swing of things, I think i'll fill out a self-indulgent survey! Oh it's a big one . . . .
1. Who are you?
The odd one in the corner. The wise ass who gets away with everything. The bitch. The goth chick. The wordsmith. The social ringleader. The innocent jade. The psychologist.
2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you?
- I am a sensualist of the highest degree, and a synesthesiate to boot.
- In my opinion, rules, conventions and inhibitions were made for breaking. If you're not comfortable, take off the uniform and dance naked in the rain.
- My vocabulary is not the product of pretention. I possess a driving love of words, their many variations and functions, their secret meaning. I cling to my words and tender them like sacred formulae. Anyone who truly knows me is aware that I spurt out archaeic vocab more often than not. I don't mean to confuse. I'm just enamoured with it. And no, i can't spell.
3. When you aren't filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing?
Writing fiction or poetry, doing yoga, DDR, raving, partying, reading, traveling, studying, taking walks
4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least.
Early release, Music Theory, Sociology, English, Statistics, Physics
5. What is your biggest goal for this year?
Several: doing well at Wash U., staying in touch with my friends, not gaining the freshman 15 in the fall (you watch, i'll LOSE 5lbs! Yeah!)
6. Where will you be in 5 years?
Starting my grad work on my way to a doctorate in psychology, searching for my true love in all the wrong places, living the city life
7. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A clinical psychologist
8. Are you more child-like or childish?
In some areas, i haven't developed past age 5. In others, I'm going on 35. It just depends
9. What is the last thing you said out loud?
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? I wasn't listening
10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now?
Run Away - Live
11. Have you ever taken a martial arts class?
No, but i plan to in the future. I already have strength, agility, balance, and endurance. I just need to learn the moves.
12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same?
I am sensing an upward trend
13. Does time really heal all wounds?
Yes, but scars are inevitable
14. How do you handle a rainy day?
Go out to a movie or coffee or something.
15. Which is worse- losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights?
losing your luggage - I loathe the sensation of being stranded w/o my accoutrements
16. How is your relationship with your parents?
Measured and neutral, for the most part.
17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you?
It depends. I'm easily overstimulated, so sometimes I block things out. That said, I have the capacity to hyperfocus on something.
18. What is the truest thing that you know?
There is no action ever performed by a person that did not give them some kind of desired reinforcement. Everyone wants a buzz of some sort. Everyone has a fix they're chasing.
19. What do you want your life to be like, as the future takes clearer shape?
I don't know. Anything but lonely, and without parents cramping my style.
20. Have you ever been given a second chance?
More often than I should.
21. Are you more of a giver or a taker?
Both. I take more often than I give, but what I give is very valuable, in my opinion.
22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart?
Not always. I can be pretty damned cold.
23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you?
Being revived in the hospital with a potassium drip, breaking my wrist in 2 places, 104 degree fever . . . a bunch of stuff
24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
25. Who have you hugged today?
Shadi, Mom, Mary, Julia
26. Who has done something today to show they care about you?
Oh a lot of stuff. I'm feckin loved, man.
27. Do you have a lot to learn?
Yes. I also have a lot to teach.
29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel?
It all depends on what was said, done, or felt. I remember hurt and loss better than anything else.
30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship?
friendship, sexual chemestry, similar intrests, respect, healthy independance between partners
31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die?
Write a book, become a psychologist, see the world
What happened to 32?
It got sent home with a dress code violation
33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause?
Self-preservation and the pursuit of joy.
34. What does each decade make you think of:
The 19..
20's: bootlegging
30's: The great depression
40's: world war 2
50's: constrained social roles for women, and hot rods
60's: Flower power
70's: Disco and bad hair
80's: Cocaine
90's: M.C. Hammer
2000: Y2K scare
35. Which decade do you feel you belong in and why? This decade.
I am happy with my current location in time. Maybe if I were born 5 or 7 years earlier.
36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song?
Lucy in the sky with diamonds, Yesterday, or Kashmir
37. If you could say any sentence to the president of the usa what would it be?
Nothing. I'd spit on his face.
38. What's your favorite tv channel to watch in the middle of the night? I
I don't watch TV. EVER.
39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why?
Scar from The lion King. He was one smooth calculating bastard.
40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout?
For almost 10 years. Then i got kicked out.
41. If you were travelling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat?
Fly, for christ's sake - it'd cut the time by a lot. I love to travel, and I hate transport.
42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night?
What kind of dumb question is that?
43. What does your name mean?
"Little Lark" or "Belonging to the Larks"
44. Would you rather explore the depths of the ocean or outer space?
The ocean. Our own planet contains unbelievable biodiversity beneith the water. We don't know more than 5% of what's down there.
45. Word association
what's the first word that comes to mind when you see the word:
air: music
meat: blood
different: Japan
pink: skin
deserve: punishment
white: coke
elvis: black velvet paintings
cilantro: knife
heart: ache
clash: lightning
pulp: battered mouth with broken teeth
46. If you could meet any person who is dead and famous who would you want it to be?
Hettie Lamar, Ben Franklin, or Bettie Page
47. What if you could meet anyone alive and famous?
Milla Jovovitch, Fairuza Balk, or Johnny Depp.
48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday?
No, nothing holds my intrest THAT well. But I love Titus - the Julie Taymore version of Titus Andronicus - almost that much
49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring?
Assuming food and water are taken care of, I'd bring a yoga mat, a computer connected to the internet, all my music, and manga.
50. Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved?
I've purportedly spared a few people death by suicide. Someone has done the same for me, and I've also been revived once in the hospital (electrolytic shock).
52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands?
A cup of tea, but the last thing of significance was a Ukranian Easter Egg.
53. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Books, for the most part. That, and my power-wheels jeep.
54. How many tv's are in your house?
Too many. I don't watch a single one of them!
55. What is your favorite thing to do outside?
take long walks
56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow?
incidentally curious
57. Have you ever dreamt a dream that came true?
I don't think so.
58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader?
I am one. I have my own Tarot deck, and do fairly well.
59. What is your idea of paradise?
Sleeping in my lover's arms after a day spent in some foreign city and a night spent in passion.
60. Do you believe in heaven and if so what is it like?
Heaven will be the oblivion of disolution, the rejoining of my elements with the planet at large, and ultimate dispersal of my conciousness. I.E. the wurms eat me. There's a little bit of heaven on earth, too.
61. Do you believe in Hell?
We make our own hell on earth.
62. What one thing have you done that most people haven't?
Have an out of body experience, pierce my nipples, roam through the parisian catacombes, be on the radio. All sorts of stuff.
63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done?
Occasionally, I help people find themselves.
64. Are you a patient person?
Scarcely. It takes extreme self-control on my part to wait for anything at all.
65. What holiday should exist but doesn't?
National Sushi day. Or maybe Massage Day.
66. What holiday shouldn't exist but does?
Thanksgiving. I hate gluttony and I hate turkey slaughter.
67. What's the best joke you ever heard?
You'll have to ask me in person. My favorite jokes are all reprehensibly filthy.
68. Where is the most fun place you have been?
London, hands down. it's my favorite place in the world. Venice is a close second.
69. Is your hair it's natural color?
Never never never ever. It's currently indigo
70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front?
I have more secrets than anyone would ever guess. All of them are known by at least one person, but no one person knows all of them except me.
71. What is under your bed right now?
Craft supplies, shoes, divining rods, my rock collection, some uh . . . toys.
72. If you were in the land of oz would you want to live there or go home?
Oz? That is kid's stuff. I'd rather live in Wonderland
73. If you drive do you frequently speed?
Every time I'm excited, listening to techno, or going off to meet someone i really like.
74. What is the world's best song to dance to?
Sexy dance: Slept So Long - Orgy or Slave 4 U - Britney Spears (shut up, i only like the beat, ok?)
Slow Dance: Playground Love - Air
Rave: Sandstorm
75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone?
Closer – NIN
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