Friday, February 27, 2004
1. Name: Larkin Dennis
2. Nickname(s): Miss Luscious McKitty, Lark, Larkles, Larky, Goth Chick, Blue
3. Screen name: ChildofMists
4. Grade: A+ extra lean
6. Sex: Femme Fatale
7. Birthday: October 31, 1985
8. Zodiac sign: Scorpio (both sun and moon)
9. Hospital where you were born: Somewhere in Boston MA
10. Height: 5' 2''
11. All your toes and fingers: Yes
12. Hair Color: variable. Currently indigo
13. Eye Color: blue
Gimme some Lovin'
16. Crush: John, Milla Jovovich, Johnny Depp, and Fairuza Balk
17: Boyfriend?: JOHANN
18. If you could go out with anyone in the world, who would it be?: Yao Ming. I'd take him out for sushi and make him sit in my lap.
19. When and who was your 1st crush?: My best friend of five years, J.J. Orton. She didnt' take the news too well. Damn Utah women . . .
20. What do you first notice about the opposite sex?: Hair/eyes
21. Your idea of a perfect date: A really rocking party or club where everyone is dancing
23. Biggest turn-on: Long, flowing hair, big soulful eyes, slender build
24. Ideal boy: Beautiful, taciturn, mysterious, blindingly intelligent, resourceful, independant
A peek into my Future
26. Occupation: psychologist
27. Dream Car: that same shit-box van i drive now. GO GO FORD AEROSTAR!
28. Marriage: sure why not. Some lucky lad or lass gets an exclusive pass into my whimsical world. Hell, if i hate it, I could always divorce!
29. Kids: HUNDREDS! And not a one of them carried in my womb. I intend to donate my eggs to infertile women . . . those FOOLS! They shall incubate my seed, spread it to all corners of the earth, and never be any the wiser. MWAHAHAHA!
30. Future son's name: Steven the squid. He lives in a tank on my desk.
31. Future daughter's name: Wire the italian greyhound
32. Honeymoon: a trip around Europe
33. Where will you live?: A metropolitain area renound for its class, culture, and beneign social deviants
34. What are you doing tomorrow?: Raving like it's the end of the world with John at our school's Sadie Hawkins dance.
Mah Favorites
35. Food: sushi. no holds barred. second place, big fresh salads from Sweet Tomatoes or Souper Salad
36. Drink: Chai, green tea, black tea, white tea, any fecking kind of tea, and water.
37. TV show: I don't watch TV. Ever.
38. Movie: Wasabi
39. CD: Mer de Noms - Aperfectcircle
40. Color: Indigo blue/back/cherry red. Preferably all together
41. Actor: Johnny Depp, Joaquin Pheonix
42. Actress: Fairuza Balk/Milla Jovovich
43. Weekend Activity: John. Yoga. Schoolwork. Writing.
44. Day of the week: Saturday
45. Month: June
46. Book: The good earth, A brave new world, Anything Kurt Vonnegut or T.C. Boyle
47. Holiday: Halloween - it's my birthday!
48. Number: 9
49. Cookie: I don't eat cookies, as they contain sugar. But if i could, I'd eat almond biscuits or oatmeal rasin
50. Phrase to overuse: "Your Mom is a (insert phrase or item that other person just said)"
51. Toothpaste: mint
52. Ice cream: fat free, sugar free frozen yogurt. don't care what flavor. Peppermint is heaven, however.
53. Candy: altoids
54. Teacher: Liz Johnson, my 11th grade english teacher. she allowed my natural writing ability to FLOURISH like ebola in an isolated African village
55. Restaurant: Pepper Chino, Sweet Tomatos, Oriental Garden
57. Type of music: techno, trance, trip-hop, classical
58. Radio Station(s): Digitally Imported Goa/psy-trance (online)
59. Shampoo/Conditioner: L'oreal Color Vive
60. Song: 3 libras - aperfectcircle
61. Music Video: anything by Bjork
62. Sport: I hate sports.
63. Website: www.johnh.blogspot.com
64. Hangout: starbucks, my house (during a party), the park
My People
66. Friends: more than before, less than you'd expect
68. Silliest: Cody
69. Laughs the most:
70. Craziest: John
71. Skinniest: pick an anorexic, any anorexic
72. Best at keeping your secrets: time will tell
73. Smartest: Rafe and John are the most articulate, at least
74. Most innocent-looking: Ian
75. Coolest name: Shadi, Yue
76. Stupidest: None of my friends are all that dim . . .
77. Weirdest: Cody
78. Most hyper: i like hyperness
79. Never get tired of talking to: Julia
Now is the time to Choose
81. *N Sync or BSB: Oh gods, no . . .
82. Peanut butter or Jelly: jelly, but only if it's sugar free
83. Boxers or Briefs: the smallest skivies money can buy. 12 pairs of my underwear fit in a sandwhich bag. You could floss with them.
84. Matt or Ben: Matt. so very very matt.
85. Mtv or VH1: TV sucks
86. Apples or Oranges: Persimmons!
87. Vanilla or Chocolate: Peppermint
88. Flowers or Candy: Big fat roses that smell fabulous
89. Dawson's Creek or Felicity: NO NONONONONONO TV
90. Romantic, Comedy or Horror: Horror/sci-fi/fantasy/action
Julia's Believe it or Not
91. Do you believe in angels?: not as the church descibes them
92. Aliens: do you really think they'd bother with us?
93. Heaven & Hell?: nope
94. God?: not unless he kicks that smiting habit and shapes up
Have I Ever ...
95. Been in an aircraft: yes
96. Cried in public: yes
97. Climbed a tree: yes
98. Fell asleep in a movie theater: no
99. Slept naked?: yes
100. With someone else?: Not certain what this means, but yes in all senses
Well, that was enlightening
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Like a boy with his new rifle, I take shots at birds and coke cans, hapless things, obscenely annihilating them to no useful consequence.
Saturday, February 21, 2004
John, who walks ahead of me by a few paces, approaches the foreign object with curiosity. He stoops. Peering intently over his head, I recognize the white tube as a section of PVC pipe. Clots of duct tape run the length of its side. Are those wires sticking out of it? John extends a broad hand towards the pipe as if to examine it, turn it over, tap it a few times. A familiar memory tugs at the hem of my mind. Danger danger danger. . .
"Don't," I call to John, and then again, abruptly "DON'T!" John's hand freezes as he looks up into my eyes. His gaze does the asking: Why?
"Back away from it John," I say as gravely as I can. To my relief, he does. I scuttle down the trail and study the PVC pipe with an expert eye. It consists of two sections adhered together: a long narrow tube and a short, stout receptacle bound mouth-to-mouth with silver duct tape. Wires dangle from the receptacle's plastic sides, held in place by more sloppy silver patches. A small black detonator with a cherry-red button lies on the ground nearby, connected to the apparatus by a strand of wire. I know what this is - no science fair project, that's for sure.
John and I leave the clearing furtively, looking over our shoulders from time to time, pretending that nothing has happened and it’s strictly business as usual. After a while, I wonder out loud if I should contact the authorities. What if some kid blew his hand off? "What if that kid was me?" John asks, masking his shocked sobriety with a cavalier facade. "Don't even talk like that," I say a little too loudly, "I don't even wanna think about it."
But for the next 4 hours I will see his hands reduce to spurting stumps, the flesh of his face peel away, and fragments of shrapnel embed in his torso over and over and over again. At five past midnight, I leave an anonymous phone message with the local police department. As I hang up, I swear to god I can smell burning hair.
Monday, February 16, 2004
My ideal woman:
others that i'd probably wanna snog too:
Your choices show a consistent interest in a wide variety of Asian women. These women really stood out to you as being very appealing.
Like: blue eyes, blonde hair, round or square faces, small breasts, medium noses, average lips, angular chins, thin frames, small breasts
Dislike: brown eyes, larger frames, large breasts, red hair, oval faces, thin lips, goofy smiles, wide set eyes, upturned or big noses.
Paste this in:
http://www.dianastears.50megs.com/johnsoda.jpg
(50megs is a fucknut)
Here's a photo that supposedly represents my ideal man.
And some others that right up there:
I'd say that's right - intense eyes, a firm jawline with crisp angles, medium nose, smooth skin, high forehead, small smirky smile, elegant neck. well-tended hair. If they'd made his hair long, he'd be perfect. Also, while I am historically attracted to dark features (most likely, a result of homogamy), pure aryan features really ring my bell as well (no doubt to diversify the genetic pool).
Some further quotes from the test: "Some may call one of your types "Pretty Boys," but all you know is that they're gorgeous. The combination of classic good looks with small noses, beautiful eyes, and full lips is hard to resist. These guys tend to be clean shaven, have clear skin, and get good hair cuts. They're taking good care of themselves so they can be "pretty" just for you! [Well, you and the 1 in 3 women (33%) that are also after them!]"
You are open to seeing a variety of men as handsome. Sure, men with "movie star" good looks catch your eye, but you are often equally wowed by more normal "cute" guys. You're not one to judge people based on their looks. In fact, you're genuinely drawn to men that others might dismiss. Maybe it's because you don't buy into society's checklist for "mainstream" attractiveness. Instead, you notice unique features like a strong nose, beautiful eyes, or a cute butt, that make some men special in your eyes. For you, attraction is about the total package.
One type of body you seemed to like is scientifically called an "Ectomorph," which is a fancy way of saying you like "skinny" guys. Okay, so he's put on a couple of pounds in the mid-section. But he'll always have a long, narrow frame and look good in or out of clothes. Since these guys don't get as much attention as the football jocks, he'd probably be surprised to know that for you skinny is sexy. His shoulders may not be broad (and are probably a little bony, so you won't want to rest your head on them indefinitely). But he has long, strong arms to wrap around you. These men make up around 3% of the single population. Keep your eyes out for signs like long necks, Adam's apples, pointed chins, and relatively long upper bodies compared to legs. At about 5'10", they tend to run about 130 pounds
favorite features: full or average lips, blue/green/black eyes, no facial hair, closed-mouth smiles, rectangular faces, medium nose, strong chin, glasses
not attracted to: african american men, bulky builds, chubbiness, round faces, goofy toothy grins, cleft chins, tiny noses, body hair
Not my type:
<
Next up, my female attraction profile. Twice as much work for we AC/DC's eh?
Sunday, February 15, 2004
A donkey show is NOT Mexico's approximation of a classic car show.
Fluids expectorated from one's lungs should NOT be tan. Tan is a bad sign.
I am loved by a strange, intelligent man i met about a year ago. Theories as to his origin include (but are not limited to): biological experiment gone hideously arwy, CIA spook, extraterrestrial. Pretty hair suggests gene tampering.
If you complement the sushi-makers at HEB foodstore, they bow in respect. Some cynical part of me wonders if the manager didn't put them up to it. "Ok guys, we gotta sell more of this raw fish, so ham it up. Bow every once in a while. And for the love of Christ, Sam, if you don't start confusing your R's and L's you're CANNED!"
Yes, we have no bananas.
Snake-oil salesmen once touted licorice as a cure for impotency. Later, it became known for its ability to "cool wanton passions". Both claims are blaringly false.
People are fucking rude.
I am a finalist - one of 14 - for the Nemerov Writing scholarship at Wash U. St. Louis. Go me. out of 446 applicants, i'm happy to be in the top 3%. Pray for my supremecy, gentle readers.
Saturday, February 14, 2004
John, I love you.
Looking back over my heart's secret history, I can't help but wince at all those hideous mistakes. Just remembering it in entirety - the trusts i've broken, the innocents I've besmirched, the lives I've torn through like a lustful meteor - makes my head ache. I can think of a half dozen doorsteps upon which if i were to step, the residents would drive me away by violence. I've hurt a lot of people. More than I've healed. Friends have been lost and casualties have been noted.
To those whom I have harmed before, I am sorry. I know better now. May there be no mercy for me if i ever repeat myself on John.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Remember Fantasy Island? Yup. THAT Tattoo.
GIYAPP!
Coach! Coach! I broke his neck! NOW what do i do?
Monday, February 09, 2004
a prank war gone awry
A friend: get my surprise yet?
Child of Mists: yeah. you were BSing me
Child of Mists : ta daaa
Child of Mists : you didn't hurt my car did you?
A friend: no
Child of Mists : there's nothing in my email
A friend :eh, not a virus if thats what you mean
Child of Mists: my blog is intact
A friend : alright
Child of Mists : *shrug*
Child of Mists : i've gone through the day unscathed
Child of Mists : i checked my locker
A friend : updated your blog?
A friend : no
A friend : alright
Child of Mists : but i'm about to
A friend : i havent checked in a while
**pause**
Child of Mists : you're a shit.
Child of Mists : give me the password
A friend : oh oh
A friend : i told you to change it
A friend : got your ssn too
Child of Mists : you're keeping a junkie from her her heroine
A friend : trying not to do something that will effect you longterm, like post your ssn
A friend or just completly delete your blog again
A friend : but this will do for a few days
A friend : i just gave yo ua good thing to write about
Child of Mists: actually i was going to write about http://dianastears.50megs.com/contort2.JPG
A friend : "oh, i never really apprecaited my blog until for a brief moment, i thought i would never be able to update it again" and then throw in that herione addict stuff
A friend : beautiful
Child of Mists : i'll kill you.
A friend : perfect ending
Don't try this at home.
Variety show try outs are 1 month away . . . . i think i'm ready
Saturday, February 07, 2004
zerotri3: you know nightstarelf?
Child of Mists (Larkin): no
zerotri3: damn...where did i meat you then??
Child of Mists (Larkin): you never did. i'm vegetarian.
Everyone, do me a favor and harass him ^_^
Friday, February 06, 2004
HOW TO BE WEIRD TO YOUR ADVANTAGE - featuring yours truely!
Lesson 479: Boy howdy, i'll tell ya. There is nothing worse than slaving in the kitchen over a batch of your favorite treat and discovering the next morning that your family members or friends have CONSUMED EVERY LAST MORSEL! It's awful! So much selfish effort reduced to naught by a pack of ravenous housemates! So here's what you do, gentle readers: buy a package of food coloring (green or blue works best) and add pigment liberally during cooking until your culinary creations resemble something excreted by an extraterrestrial. Voila! No one else will lay a finger on them!
Yeah. Whatever. Let the bitter old crone get her kicks were she can. Something tells me that one good orgasm would kill her.
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Oh yeah, you can trust 'em allright, but I wouldn't trust them with my life or my future.
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
'Sadistic Bastard' PLEASE VOTE!!!
What Type of Lunatic are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Wake up, get up, clean up, suit up, eat up, hurry up, sit down, look up, shut up, write up, move down, suck up, climb up, work up, break down, wipe up, hold up, slow down, beat up, drink up, swallow down, run up, lie down, pass out.
Monday, February 02, 2004
Second off the bat, I have to say that our school's 2004 Valedictorian - a misfortunate lad I've nicknamed "Weasley" both in parody of his true last name and on account of his rodental visage - is the most dull person I've ever had the pleasure (?) of meeting. He's humorless, austere, asensual, and highly religious. In short, my experience deems him colder and flatter than last night’s espresso. Even thusly blessed by the might of his ostensible brilliance, I sincerely doubt that he's ever had an original thought in his life - you know, one that didn't come out of a textbook.
Today I stopped by 6th period English to drop off a few invitations to my Valentines Day party. Once the flyers had all found proper recipients, I still had a spare sheet remaining. "Weasley!" I called to him in a jovial tone, "how about a party next Friday, eh? Remember last time when you put the lampshade on your head? You got so wasted! By the way, did you ever find your pants?" "WHAT?!! he shrieked. Despite my obvious facetious ribbing, the lad blanched in shock. Pants? Wasted? Me? his expression seemed to say. This taciturn perplexity lasted for a full five seconds before he sat down in a huff, his Anglo-Saxon pallor colouring up like a rose in June.
Some people just can't take a joke.
Wait, gentle readers . . . I feel a prediction coming on! Yes, yes . . . it's all clear to me now . . . I am receiving a psychic impression of our valedictorian's future! His fate lies within my sight!
After high school, Mr. Weasley shall trundle-off to MIT where he'll learn life skills such as macroastrohomophysics, lording over the slave class, and microwaving ramen noodles. He will not age as he grows older, but instead merely dry out like a clove-studded apple. Eventually, his mother, with the help of her sewing circle and charity club, will select for him a proper wife. Nine months later to the day, she will bear a little Weasley baby - thanks to Immaculate Conception. Yes, folks, he's that Catholic.
Whew! Man, I bet everyone wishes they were as perfect as I!
