Sunday, May 30, 2004

Well, graduation was a total bust. I spent three hours straight doing my best not to fall asleep in a stiff folding chair, in a noisy auditorium, innundated by people I really don't care for. Goddamn Klein High.

Before the commencement, Mrs. Bourgeoise pulled me aside and said that if any part of my outfit lit up, flashed, blinked, or made noise, I would be kicked out immediately. She viewed my ear gauges with particular suspicion. This of course prompted me to take one of them out and show her that the jewelry's enormity was a reflection of the piercing's size, not hidden technology. For good measure, I stuck a finger through my earlobe. Heh. If you can't beat them, gross them out.

And at least I got in my last words, while walking down the reception line to receive my diploma. To mr. Herreth, I said "There go the four worst years of my life! Keep up the good bullshit!" To Mr. Huff, I whispered "Thank god almighty it's over," to which he tersely agreed. Hah. Nothing like shaking the apple cart.

I must confess, gentle readers, I felt proud during the ceremony, despite myself. Catching the eye of a few people I knew amongst my class filled me with bittersweet, throat-choking emotion. We'd all come through a lot together. And there we were, assembled for a final time, on the verge of shattering into a thousand fragmented lives. We did it. We made it. It was over.

My family honored me most satisfactorally afterwards; I received many fine gifts including a cell phone, a watch, and an art book; they took me to lunch at Baba Yaga's, where I consumed my own weight in grilled tuna; mom bought me a pair of steel 1/2 inch flesh tunnels which i promptly inserted into my ears.

Man, you guys gotta see these flesh tunnels. I'll get a pic up soon as I'm able. THEY'RE HUGE! Soooo beautiful.

shiny objects