Things I Learned At The Beach Today:
- the ammount which a woman complains about her figure is directly proportional to said figure's desirability.
- no prop is more versitile or effective for spur of the moment humor than a clump of kelp.
- riptide, bad. sunscreen, good.
- there is a good reason for the expression "like rubbing salt in a wound."
- sand, previously thought to be an inanimate particulate amalgam, is in actuality a bacterium. It has the power to infiltrate any barrier before multipling at an exponential rate. No matter how much sand you remove from your shoe, there will always be more.
- if you ask the waiter to dance at Joes Crab Shack, he very well may do it.
- I like the Eagles
- I like Counting Crows
- I DON'T like seagulls
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