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shiny objects

Thursday, October 14, 2004


Scribblings from the margin of my notebook:

If a dominatrix uses a 3 foot long rawhide flogger on a client 4 feet away, how long will the sound of leather on flesh take to reach the client's voyeristic girlfriend, skulking in the shadows 11 feet away?

Bonus: how many cigarettes does the dominatrix smoke in one session?
Answer to bonus: AS MANY AS SHE WANTS, YOU LITTLE FUCKING SLUT! Now kiss my boot and say you're sorry.

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"Moo," said the kitten . . . and then I ate it.


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Note to self: Purina puppy chow NOT made from real puppies. Must write company and complain about false advertising.


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"I'm too drunk to vomit . . . . *blarrrrgle* Oh wait, never mind." (overheard at frat party)

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"Two hamburger patties, two slices of cheese, and two strips of bacon. I call it THE DEATH BURGER."
"My god . . . Mitch . . . there's so much meat!"
"Sexy, isn't it? I'm consuming as many animals as possible, ALL AT ONCE." (cafeteria)

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Minori! Minori!!! MIIIINORRRRRRIIIIIIII!!!!!!!! (my room)


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