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shiny objects

Wednesday, December 22, 2004


6 unbearable social interactions. At least by my experience (and the experiences of a few friends). All of these are real occurances!

1. you go into the E.R. with severe abdominal pain, fearing appendicitis. The sexy doctor on duty examines you thoroughly and concludes that your "life-threatening discomfort" is nothing more than gas pains.

2. significant other "A" comes into your house one morning to surprise you with unmitigated love and finds you passed out in bed with illicit lover "B".

3. gyno has to extract a fake nail from your . . . garden.

4. your asshole friends scream "Dude! Get off the phone! We need more lube! Ow, it's chafing. Get off the phone now, man! Bring the lube over here." when you're on the phone with your pastor.

5. old woman you meet on the bus recounts the compelling drama of her latest colonoscopy.

6. you remove 3 gig fat-chick and tranny-granny porn from your kid brother's computer.


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