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shiny objects

Thursday, December 23, 2004


Returning to my highschool venues feels strange and disarming. The last six months are nothing; I have emerged abruptly from a Narnian cupboard and reassumed Texas as if I had never left. College is but a fantasy. I never lived before today.

My friends haven't changed as much as I feared they would. We repeat the patterns of past behaviors out of sheer familiarity and find that our gears still turn. Deja vu compells me to correct the omissions of yesterday. I make apologies and confessions where they are due. Old silences shatter. Speculations fail. Providence has afforded me another chance - the break I need to sleep soundly through the St. Louis nights.

Everything makes sense this time around. I am not so much a participant as a player of a well-studied role. Not so much a variable now as a tendency.

This is fun.


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