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shiny objects

Wednesday, February 09, 2005


Diary of an academic superstar


12.00pm - astronomy
-Slept. Fanticized about rolling in the hay with Burt, the fellow (I'm assuming) who started Burt's Bees cosmetic company. Something about that bearded man on the label gets me hot. Blew nose on Student Life newspaper.

1.00pm - buddhism
-Passed notes to neighbor between jotting down 28-letter names of buddhist diciples. Wanagetanirvanafastadenyu. Kudabinakuntenda. Sikabeinavegatarian. Something like that. Told neighbor a humorous anecdote about my ex girlfriend who spent some years in Thailand and, during that time period, managed to seduce a Buddhist nun.

2.30pm - abnormal psychology
-Blew nose on a glove I found on the ground. Picked teeth with mechanical pencil. Wrote down everything on projected powerpoint presentation, but didn't really care, as I already knew it back to front. Fanticized about fresh sushi with real wasabi and miso soup on the side. Ate a vicodin. Wrote poem about tattoos.

4.00pm - statistics
-Wondered if my hair is getting thinner. Wondered if I have any nail polish remover left. Wondered how I would get to my Opthamologist appointment tomorrow, as it's off campus and I don't have a car. Blew nose on paper towel (finally, I found something suitable!). Wondered if anyone else in the class had cool tattoos. Craved a cigarette. Stared at TA's panty line.

Man, i'm so good at college it makes me sick.


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