Here's a quick survey, gentle readers. I'll put down my answers here, and you can put yours (just do it goddamnit. fucking humor me! it only takes 3 minutes of your time. make a crazy woman feel important for an hour or two! BLARRRRGLERAGGLE!) in the comments.
1. Name 5 things you wish were easier to open.
the wretched blister-packaging and security stickers on CD's, captive bead rings, hearts, the door to the roof of my dorm, lobsters
2. Compose a sentance or three that contain(s) the words "cinderblock(s)," "box wine," and "cops."
We sat on stacks of cinderblocks, freezing our asses off, because Jimmy was too afraid of the cops to build a garbage-can fire. Even the glow of my cigarette made him paranoid. He perched on the edge of his concrete throne, cradling our box wine and periodically sucking at the plastic spigot.
3. If you turned into a food right now, which food would you be and why?
I would be sushi. Most people love sushi, whether they know it or not. All they need is the proper introduction.
There's a side of sushi for everyone. At one end of the spectrum, we have hardcore, weird-as-hell, raw sea-urchin egg-sacks, octopus tentacles, and flying-fish roe - takes a little getting used to and only thoroughly appreciated by certain individuals. Many people don't have an adventurous side capacious enough to embrace these crazy little gems.
Then, there's the fairly popular, reliable, yet always exciting tuna, salmon, and eel nigiri. They take a little thought and observation to fully enjoy. One must appreciate the theory and technique. It's an intellectual exercise. They make you think a bit.
There's spicy sushi too: spicy tuna roll, spicy tempura handroll, spicy diced octopus (no intact tentacles here). Great for those who like to get burned or are looking for something hot and delicously wicked.
And then, there's the softer side of sushi. Anyone can stomach a cucumber roll or a cooked shrimp nigiri. Tamago (little slice of cooked egg on rice), veggie maki (thick roll stuffed with slices of veggies), and california roll (cucumber, avadcado, cooked crab) are extrordinarily friendly as well. They're fine at parties with mixed company - exotic enough to be interesting, yet just approachable enough to avoid frightening the more skittish guests.
4. You are being tortured by the underground amazon task force. Lord only knows why, but evil amazons just like to do that sort of thing. You are given three choices of torture: electrocution, branding, or the rack. Which would you choose and why?
Electrocution. As long as it wasn't a lethal voltage/amperage (i forget which one determines lethality), the shock might do me some good. Lord knows I'm crazy as a loon. Electroconvulsive therapy is still in use today for severe cases of depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
5. Would you rather eat lunch with a hobo at subway and pick up the check, or dinner with Justin Timberlake at a 5 star ultra posh gourmet restraunt?
I'd rather eat with the hobo. Justin Timberlake doesn't need my company, and I sure as fuck don't need his. The hobo probably has a whole bunch of cool stories to tell, too. No one ever listens to hobos. They're a neglected segment of american culture.
Afterwards we could probably go back to his alley and get ripped on Night Train. Yeehaw!
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