So he tells me on the phone that I should look into meditation, and at first I say to myself: "How many more pills do I really need?!" But no,he means that he's met a new therapist, someone who really understands him, good, great, who got him involved in some kind of imagination game - a brand of "meditation" that sounds more like mental masterbation - and he mentions how meditation is changing his life. His spirit guide has so many things to suggest about the path to spiritual wellness. I should really look into it.
A girl like me could really use it. Because everyone knows I have lots of issues to work through, and lord knows I can't keep thrusting them on everyone around me the way I've been doing for years, showing depressive symptoms and occasionally withdrawing alltogether, cutting my arms and legs for attention - because that's the only reason why anyone would do it, right? Attention. But if I just looked into meditation it would help so much. Especially since I want to become a psychologist. We wouldn't want me projecting my personal problems onto my patients, would we?
And meditation can change your life! Look! It's changing mine! In fact, I'm going to start pushing you out of it.
*******
The boy sees me steal sushi from the cafeteria - a plate of rice and seaweed, about 1 cup of food - worth 30 cents and costs $4.25 in meal points. He scowls. It's just not right, Larkin, it's just not ethical, you're undermining society. Society undermines me with high prices, I retort but he's already brought out an article about how our foodservice prices have gone up because of student theft. You don't need to steal to eat, Larkin, just manage your points!
You, boy, I think to myself, have a harp and a grand piano in your living room. You live in the most expensive part of Clayton MO in a beautiful 3 story house with several glistening cars in the driveway. Your parents pay full tuition. You have never stayed awake all night wondering how you're going to make enough money to cover your mounting medical expenses when you're out of both insurance and a job. When you want money, all you have to do is ask Daddy. You're probably in Amsterdam or Cancun by now.
It's so much easier to afford morals when you've had everything handed to you since birth. Isn't it? But no matter how concerned you are about my necessary food theft, you still won't buy the rice for me. That would be beyond your paradigm, wouldn't it?
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