Thursday, April 21, 2005

Note to self: washing the dishes and one's self simultaniously in the shower - brilliant time-saving strategy or tempting murphey's law? Must find out.

Note to self: People will believe anything one says, if one presents statement with complete and total confidence in his words.

Note to self: "Lucky-Charms aftertaste" is not an acceptable description to use while sampling expensive scotch.

Note to self: One solves a problem like Maria as one would solve most other problem females - by finding her a rich sugar-daddy. Oh, Baron Von Trap, you old dog.

Note to self: take page on matrimony from Baron Von Trap's book. First, marry some grainsack of a woman and exhaust her fertile, although shapeless, body by forcing her to gestate 12 children in rapid succession. Then shack up with a nubile virgin, fresh out of the habit. Can't fail. Unless all 12 children inexplicably become rabid zombies.

Note to self: if it needs cellophane plastic to hold its shape, it's not cheese.

Note to self: the following phrases should not be mentioned during a serious discussion on abortion: "Shop vac"; "fuck-'n-suck;" "pipe-cleaner"; "scraping the purse for small change"; "the other white meat."

Note to self: Ducky.

shiny objects