If there is one thing I truly enjoy about working in a restraunt, it's the contrast between waitressing and academia. When I'm at Modai, I can observe society - the clientelle, in specific - from a vantage point that is both completely obscured and highly conspicuous. When customers need me, they can spot me from across the room. When they don't, I may as well be part of the post-modern pseudo-asian decor.
I wear a uniform so that my presence is easy to discern. The patrons see it wherever I go, and hail the person inside as desired. A spotlight. A diving flag attached to a flourescent bobber. And yet, I often feel as if I were an insect, buzzing around the dining room and attracting little notice beyond fleeting visual recognition. When I make a circuit with the water carafe, the patrons continue their conversations. Some will say nearly anything to each other while I'm standing there - sexual propositions, accounts of physical mutilation, medical problems, family issues, etc. Most don't even bother to look up and meet my eyes.
As a result of this occupational invisibility, I've gained a clearer picture of human social interactions. There are approximately seven types of parties at modai. (By parties, I mean a person or group of people dining together.)
- The loner: solitary. arrives during cocktail hour. Sits at the bar. Orders anything with alcohol in it. Attempts to flirt with un-escorted diners of the (usually) opposite sex, and should that fail, the wait-staff. Occasionally becomes heavily intoxicated. Tips wretchedly, unless potential hook-up is watching.
- The rich bitches: 2 to 4 people. Arrive at the tail end of dinner hour, just before the kitchen and sushi bar close. May also arrive during rush time on a weekend. Either way, they love to order extremely complex specialty cocktails and many plates of labor-intensive sushi. Sit in the lounge couches or table next to the sushi bar. Expect both drinks and sushi on the table within five minutes. Complain loudly and frequently. Cold demeanor. Add or remove substitutions/alterations to their order at the last minute. Tip between 5 and 10%.
- The American Gothic: 2 people - usually a drab couple - over the age of 55. Arrive 5 minutes after opening time. Sit wherever they are herded by the hostess. Can't pronounce anything on the menu and have no idea what they want. Order tame appetizers and entrees, occasionally American beer. Expressionless. Refuse to shoot the breeze with waitstaff, but tend not to complain either. Tip a flat 15%, calculated to the last cent, rounding down.
- The lovebirds: 2 people. Arrive at any time during the night. Well-dressed, fashionable, prone to public displays of affection. If ordering dinner, sit at a booth, on the same side. If ordering just cocktails, sit in the lounge couches, curled up in one giant armchair. Invariably order edamame (finger food = aphrodesiac?). Elaborate entrees or specialty sushi rolls follow. At least one specialty cocktail each, sometimes up to 4 each, and almost invariably sake as well. Tip decently, due to persistant good mood - 15 to 25%
- The party professionals: 3 to 9 people. Arrive during "Free Sushi" happy hour. Dressed office casual, complete with ties and sensible shoes. Sit at several small tables pushed together. Order drinks most often seen at tropical resorts - singapore sling, blue hawaiian, margarita, mai tai, pina colada. Devoted to getting tipsy. Speak quickly and animatedly, most often about office drama, their new cell phone, or how much work sucks. Constantly ask when the next round of free sushi is coming by, even if they just got some. Always order separate checks. Tips vary wildly - from 10 to 30%, depending on whether or not they have someone to impress.
- The happy family: 2 people and 2 small children. Arrive soon after opening time, usually on the heels of American Gothic. Sit next to expensive, fragile objects - glass tables, vases, mirrors, etc. Adults are apologetic and meek. Children throw several minor and at least one major tantrum, during which something shatters noisily. Adults skip drinks, appetizers, and desert in an effort to expedite dinner. Children prod servings of plain white rice and beg for McDonalds. Tip very very well - 20 to 30% (Why people decide to bring kids under 10 to a sushi bar is beyond me. But they do.)
- The college crowd: 4 to 9 students. Arrive during free sushi happy hour or cocktail hour. Sit anywhere they feel like. Boistrous and raucous. At some point during the meal, one of the males invariably "hoots and hollers" (WHOOO hooohoo HOOOO!). Order finger-food appetizers, americanized sushi (can anyone say philidelphia roll?), lots of sake and beer. Stare at waitstaff disconcertingly, but converse freely with them as well. Occasionally make creative messes for me to clean up. Tip 0-10%, but have a habit of leaving half-finished sushi rolls and drinks behind (yum!).
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