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shiny objects

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


Remember the bananaphone poem? Come on, of course you do. You know, that five-minute masterpiece of bullshit I whipped out just before poetry class? Here's a recap:

Banan.

A phone ring.
ring ring ring
he calls me every day on the banan.
A phone.
I've got my hunches
They come in.
Bunches celluar
Mod you lying son of a banan.
A phone.
I will peel back your
Yellow skin in four parts:
one skin two skin three skin four.
Daylight screams
and I banan.
A phone.


Well, it finally went through peer critique. Here, for your reading pleasure, I give you a few selected comments:

- Interesting how the word banan serves as noun and evolves in the poem to be a verb at the end.

- There is enough detail so that I'm drawn into the story, but what is the cause of the antagonism in the poem? Like "you lying son of a banan" and "daylight screams"

- hunches/bunches, a relationship metaphor?

- I wish I could critique the poem, but I just don't understand it at all.

- I also really like the phrase "bunches cellular" because it gives me this great image off the juxtaposition of fruit and technology :)

- I like the lines about peeling back the yellow skin as well because it could very well be talking about the actual banana or the phone or even a person who maybe has lied about something (cheated on her)?

- Is the speaker both a banana and a phone?


I just wish they'd gotten more creative with their responses! Oh well, at least I thoroughly confused them.


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