I've decided to amuse myself at work by reading the postings on craigslist.com. Occasionally, I find something worth sharing.
From the "Missed Connections" branch of the "Personals" section:
What we need more of is science - w4m - 23
I've seen you around WashU med school a couple of times, wearing an R. Beef shirt. I've tried to say hi, but before I can utter the words "Volvo of Despair", you are gone. Let's be buds. I'll wear my rabbit ambulance shirt.
Part of me wonders if I've seen these two around campus.
Also from "Missed Connections" -
I saw you in a dream
Before you get any bright ideas, no, it wasnt that kind of dream. I was actually being chased through some strange indoor industrialized swamp by trained attack crocodiles, but thats not important right now. What is important, is towards the end, right before I woke up, the overgrown lizards were gone, and you were standing there looking at me as I bled all over the floor. Physically you could be described as about 5'5", 115lbs, long dark hair, a slender face with deep blue/green-ish eyes. You were the most beautiful person in the world, not because you had a body that I could spend entire days perving over (and boy did you, woof), but because your eyes had a meaning, some sort of communication in them. The message I got was "everything is ok", and I want that when I'm awake too.
Cute. Real cute. I bet that used to make the girls back home wet almost istantly. "I saw you in a dream!" Uh huh. I know what you really want while you're awake - an underweight, barely legal sylph who's willing to exchange sexual favors for more of your exquisite bullshit. NEXT.
And furthermore:
you, with the freckle in your eye - m4w - 26
yeah, I still think about you on the daily.
why?
you broke my fucking heart.
Freckle? Eye? What exactly is going on here? And I can tell just by looking at your grammar, Bub, that she left you for a reason.
This next one is from the "Casual Encounters" section:
Married guy in STL Looking to please women - m4w - 29
Want to please women...all types: younger, older, single and married.
Lets have some safe, no strings attached fun!
Will be completely discreet and sexually satisfying. Reply now and lets enjoy! I'm tall, well built and good...
Asshole. Why the hell did you get married? I hope your wife replies to the add!
Here's a few more . . .
Wanted: Man with with non-American accent - 43 (sic)
Looking for a discreet relationship long-term or short term, with a man who must have a real (not fake)non-American accent.Prefer United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, French.
Need something different! Accents excite me.
If you are a match, we'll have a great time.
I am an accomplished professional, pay my own way, love to laugh, love a challenge, physically fit, busy, have travelled alot. If you're out there-say hello!
Hchallo. Mhy naime eeze Mikhael. You ahre mhore byuteeful den da turnip preencess uv legend!
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