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shiny objects

Thursday, August 25, 2005


I officially carry too many kinds of medication in my purse. This morning, I layed out a little white pill (birth control) and a little pink pill (adderall, for improved focus) - or so I thought. The little pink pill was, in actuality, a Klonopin, which I take once every blue moon for anxiety attacks.

So I'm sitting at work, about a half-hour later, when my vision begins to go out of focus. I chalk it up to fatigue and keep working. Five minutes after that, I begin to feel drunken, and my fingers and toes grow numb. Mild visual halucinations follow. I am calm - too calm. I am stupified. It was then that I realized my mistake. What a strange thrill to expect a stimulant, but receive a depressant!

And it takes every ounce of self control to keep from falling asleep at the front desk, or running around outside in the grass (because I know it would feel good on my feet), or laughing at everything my boss asks me to do. Why, why, WHY must everything be so goddamn funny?

I can't wait until this shit wears off. In the meantime, I wish I had some watercolors and paper, because this relaxation has released my creativity. Whoo!


Fuckin' meds . . . I am buying one of those pill organizers STAT.


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