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shiny objects

Tuesday, September 06, 2005


In a streak of unbridled mischieviousness, Alan and I took two pairs of unused cotton panties (they didn't fit me) and smeared A1 steak sauce on each crotch.

See, we were trying to find the condement that looked most like menstrual blood. Alan suggested strawberry juice. I thought ketchup would make for a better consistency. However, when we reached the condement station at Bear's Den, we both knew it had to be A1 Steak Sauce. Gooey, ruddy-brown, and right at hand.

Well, we found out that A1 Steak Sauce looks more like diarrhea. Oh well. No matter.

We pitched one pair of soiled knickers into the bed of a pick-up truck on the south fourty. The other pair, we placed on an outcrop of the underpass. Even though people usually stare at the ground while they walk through the underpass, we figure approximately 2,000 people must have walked by the panties today, so at least 20 people should have noticed it.

But last I looked, the panties are still there, proudly presenting their soiled crotch to approaching pedestrians. No one has had the heart to remove them. I don't blame them.


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