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shiny objects

Sunday, September 04, 2005


Washington University has it's own police department. We call it WUPD (pronounced "whoop-dee") for short. As if that wasn't enough to detract from their hard-nosed image, they've started replacing their bike patrols with scooter patrols.

And not just any scooters, but "poor-man's segways", as Alan likes to call them. They look almost like a segway, except for the fact that instead of an internal gyroscopic balancing system, they have a third wheel.

Naturally, I think this is a very poor decision on WUPD's part, and not just because it hurts their image. First off, they couldn't have picked a vehicle that was easier to evade. The poor-man's segways can't go off-road. A bike can go down a grassy hill, or even a few stairs, but the scooters are restricted to paved paths. And as if most cops weren't chubby enough, we have to take away their only source of exercise on the job and give them an electric scooter. Why I saw a cop riding by with a donut in hand just yesterday. Wash U's doomed, I say.

Did I mention that the damned things have really wussy horns built in? *Meep! Meep!*

Man oh man, I really want to take one for a joy-ride.


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