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shiny objects

Saturday, October 15, 2005


Happiness Is a Cracked Skull.
or
What Happened To Your Face?


Oh, gentle readers, I woke up with the worst of headaches. And I didn't even earn it in my cups. You see, last night, a friend of mine - we'll call him Barry - suddenly decided to display his physical prowress by slinging me over his shoulder. Barry is a formidable, rather ursine fellow. Under normal circumstances, I'm sure he would have performed the feat easily. However, in his inebriated condition, he could not grasp my inverted body tightly enough to prevent calamity. I fell straight over his shoulder and landed head-first on the sidewalk.

I, for one, predicted neither the grapple nor the fall, and was quite surprised to find myself swiftly and thoroughly acquainted with the pavement. Luckily, I sustained only minor injuries. The top of my skull bore most of the impact, resulting in an angry welt and several abrasions on my scalp. My right cheekbone appears to have a combination scrape and a compression bruise on it. Scuffed up my left hand a bit. Bruises on my knees. And I can't really turn my head side to side, because it feels like it's been painfully locked in place.

I can only imagine what the scene must have looked like to an outside observer. Probably like WWF from hell.

And yes, Barry felt very very VERY sorry about it. He is forgiven. But it'll be a long time before I allow myself to be picked up again by ANYONE.


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