Secret Admirers
or
If You Can't Stand the Heat, Get Out. Just Get Out.
I'm really flattered. Some people actually take my blog seriously! Check out the latest and greatest flames from my very own comments function:
From Anonymous: Actually, I can't wait till your school comes after you after your clueless posts (oh, yeah, we found out what university you go to, can't wait!!), and also your parents find out about this nice little mind-fuck you've got going. I'm sure they'll be pleased to find out their little girl is really a disgusting pig with no morals, no conscience, and was ultimately a waste of uterine space. Most pleased with awaiting your downfall, darling. Do hope you find time to cram for finals as you are brought before the college review board - I'm sure this blog wasn't on your app., but NOW they'll (giggle) KNOW!!
Of course you know what University I go to. I mention Wash U constantly - every couple of posts or so. Not to mention the fact that I post my blog address in every public social directory the school has to offer.
Believe it or not, gentle readers, my blog was on my college application. For my writing scholarships, at least. Apparently, some members of academia find my bullshit amusing. Who'da thunk it.
And for the record, my mother is one of my most avid readers. She honestly enjoys shiny objects. Hi mom. Love you. *waves* Do mention my blog to her. She would be thrilled to hear that I have more gentle readers.
Next.
From AMG: Dear Larkin R. Dennis,
How are your studies going at Wash U in St. Louis? Please look into taking an ethics class...it appears that you have none. I understand all about free speech and all, but do you think that your university will embrace such a moron as one of their own? I would ventrue to guess not. Do you pay for your own tuition, or are your parents going to be oh-so-happy to see how wisely you spend your time on thier dime? I'll ask your family myself when I talk to them.
My studies are going great, thanks. I'm managing to pull off a rather solid 19 credits and maintain a social life to boot. As you may be able to tell, ethics isn't my bag, baby. I'd rather plunge into some psychology (as Anonymous seems to have discerned - hence "mind-fuck").
It would seem that Wash U. has embraced such a moron. For here I am. And they're always grateful for my contributions to the campus sexuality magazine and the Alternative Lifestyles Association (read BDSM/fetish/etc. club). I was recently made an officer. The yearbook will list me as "Head of Submissions."
No, I don't pay my own tuition. The University takes care of most of it, and my parents pick up the wee gap left uncovered by merit scholarships. Fortunately, none of that grant money has anything to do with my moral character, or else I'd be out in the cold, wouldn't I? Ah, me.
As for the review board, they tender free speech like a blistered pinky. I could write about the theoretical virtues of giving crack cocaine to eight-year-olds, and they wouldn't really care.
SHAZAM, MOTHAFUCKAH!
|
"