It's dawn. I've spent the last 6 hours writing a paper. Now it's time for something self-indulgent. Like a big fat quiz from someone else's blog. And it's full of information about me that no one gives a crap about! Oh boy!
1) My uncle once: shook my hand. I think I've only seen him once or twice. I don't remember much about him.
2) Never in my life: have I watched the superbowl.
3) When I was five: I had a firm belief in magic.
4) High School was: suffocating. I couldn't stand the dress code. Most of the teachers had been broken by semester after semester of heartless students, or didn't know what they were talking about. The administrators had no respect for the students. I made a few good friends.
5) I will never forget: what it feels like to hold a baby duck in my hands.
6) I once met: the man of my dreams. He hated my guts.
7) There's this person I know who: can only feel sexual arousal if she imagines herself vivisected and disassembled. Freaky.
8) Once, at a bar: I ordered a 16 dollar martini.
9) By noon I'm usually: anxious and hostile.
10) Last night: I couldn't get to sleep. And then I couldn't wake up.
11) If I only had: said no.
12) Next time I go to church/temple: I'll be in a big wooden box.
13) Terri Schiavo: inspired me to write a living will.
14) I like: attention. More than just about anything, really.
15) When I turn my head left, I see: the bare white wall, a bottle of bubble mix, a thong.
16) When I turn my head right, I see: a losing lottery ticket, Jim Morrison (poster), the school-issued couch.
17) You know I'm lying when: I say I've got it under control.
18) In grade school: the other kids made fun of me on a daily basis. I was the fat kid.
19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: The Moor from Titus Andronicus.
20) By this time next year: I'll be in England. Maybe.
21) A better name for me would be: Malicious Bitch
22) I have a hard time understanding: mathematics.
23) If I ever go back to school I'll: take my Social Psych final.
24) You know I like you if: I ask you personal questions.
25) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: God. Juuust kiddin!
26) I hope that: I live past 50.
27) Take my advice: and stop telling yourself that you don't need deodorant.
28) My ideal breakfast is: raw salmon.
29) A song I love, but do not have is: Taste in Men, by Placebo.
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: leaving as quickly as possible.
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips, & track stars: don't rhyme. What? What was I supposed to say?
32) Why won't anyone: send me a love letter?
33) If you spend the night at my house: I'll offer you food and drink every five minutes, lend you pajamas, and give you my bed.
34) I'd stop my wedding for: a better offer.
35) The world could do without: restrictions on stem cell research.
36) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: shut up and do as I'm told.
37) My favorite blonde is: probably dead or in prison by now.
38) Paper clips are more useful than: just about anything. Lockpick, manicure tool, cleaning instrument, jewelry, hair clip, the possibilities are endless.
40) And by the way: I fucking hate your tie.
41) The last time I was drunk, I: drunk dialed my mom. MY MOM. AHHG!
42) My grandmother always: underlines the word "you" in our birthday cards (as in happy birthday to you). She never writes anything more than "Love, Grammy" in them, though.
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