Saturday, December 03, 2005
or
I'm Want My Money Back
I've been stood-up, gentle readers - stood up by a pack of brine shrimp. I'm sure that most of you are familiar with Sea Monkeys, the instant aquatic pets that even your senile maiden aunt couldn't fuck-up.
Well, somehow I fucked them up.
I don't know where I went wrong. On day one, I filled the Micro-view Ocean Zoo(R) tank with tap water and the packet of purifying powder, stirring the mixture for sixty seconds, as the instructions described. The next evening, with Kay as my witness, I emptied packet number two - INSTANT LIFE SEA MONKEY EGGS - into the solution. And stirred. And waited. But nothing happened.
No matter, I thought. My eyesight is crappy. They're just too small to see. I toddled off to sleep with visions of grinning anthropomorphic brine shrimp wriggling in my head.
But the next day, I saw nothing in the tank. And the next day. And the next! Even today, almost a week later, neither Kay nor I can find any white, twitching signs of invertebrate life.
CURSE YOU MONKEYS! Where are you? Did I somehow kill you with my overpowering need to nurture something? Am I unworthy?
So I'm going to write the company. The literature that came with the tank says they are absolutely guaranteed to grow. I take that guarantee very seriously. I'll update you guys when I know something for sure.
