Friday, December 02, 2005

There's Got To Be a Morning After
or
Parting Shots of Piss and Vinegar

Everything I needed to know about human behavior, I learned from "Cassie Hall":

Cassie Hall( extremely proud mother of 2 children(one of which is an outstanding moral citizen educating his 4th grade class on Angelman Syndrome . . . and just so you and all of your friends know, my 9 year old told me the other day that "people that say mean things about other people must really feel bad inside." (emphasis added)

Well put, Cassie. Yes, that comment was directed at me - blue meanie and venom-spitter extrordinaire - but I think, in this case, it's more aptly applied to your comrads-in-misfortune.

No matter how wronged you guys felt, there's no reason why you had to become so bitter and insulting towards me. It's sort of funny. It's amazing how "[children with Angelman's syndrome] teach us about patience, unconditional love, belief, understanding, etc. They teach us about what is *really* important in life" (Tami). Uh huh. Sure they do. That's why you guys have been wasting your time here.

I'm really fucking convinced now. Honestly.

A serious shout out to my favorite miscreants - Ms. Julia "East meets Best" Matsuno; Mr. Alan Orlanski Esquire; Andrew, The Baron of Park; Corey, my sister in arms; John "No Matter How Many Legs It Used To Have, I Can Cook It" Heidelmeier; Grey Goose; that guy your mom warned you about; The Daylight Shadow of a gentle giant; Kay, and his band of Dandy Fuckers; and last but not least, the woman who spawned me, surrealgertrude.

You guys are incredible. When I finally manage to claw to the top of an unstable third-world government, you will all be named senators for life. The job comes with piles of dirty money. And guns. Lots of guns.

If I forgot your name, you didn't make a big enough stink. Better luck next time, old chap.

I'mma go finish my homework now. Mebbe soak my head. Ugh.

shiny objects