Sunday, February 05, 2006
or
Them Bones
Just to make things even, I give you the top five reasons why I'm terrified of abnormally skinny people.
- Eating disorders have a contageous effect. This is well demonstrated by actors on the same tv show, sisters in the same sorority, or atheletes on the same team.
- Really spikey hipbones, elbows, etc. There's something not only anti-erotic, but hostile, about skeletal bodies.
- Irritability from ingesting high doses of caffeine, nicotine, and god knows what other -ine substances. Every good girl knows that stimulants can help keep that waifish figure, and give you a hair-trigger temper to go along with it.
- The effects of bulimia. Bulimics purge one of two ways - either they throw up their food or they take laxatives. Needless to say, either method wrecks the digestive system. For example, some might eventually experience the inability to control their bowel functions. Some have chronic vomit-breath and rotten teeth. SEXY!
- You can't take them out to dinner. You can't make them dinner. You can't share a candy bar with them. You can't bake them a birthday cake. You can't bring them breakfast in bed. You can't go out for ice cream. Need I go on?
