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shiny objects

Sunday, February 12, 2006


Shameless Plugs
or
This One Goes Out To All The Ladies


Hey. Psssst. If you're a Wash U student (or just a fan of our Student Life Newspaper), look for my op-ed on Monday. It'll be a scream. SCREAMING ORGASM, that is. Bwahaha!

Yes, the rumors are true. It's a How-to on how to perform cunnilingus.

I know what you're thinking: how shocking! How tasteless! But it's not my fault! It wasn't my idea. The paper needed someone to give the female side of things, because last year, there was only a fellatio article, which sent the feminists into a tizzy. And I don't blame them. So I did my civic duty and wrote an article about muff diving, and everyone's happy. Especially me, because I'll get all sorts of attention. Which I love. A lot.

*sets self on fire and throws charring body into a stack of filled gas cans*

LOOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEE!!!! READ MY ARTICLE!!!!


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