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shiny objects

Friday, February 03, 2006


The What-Heap?
or
Miracle Diets


Frou Frou, gentle readers. Why had I not found them before? They are quite sublime. I stumbled upon them quite by accident, too. My god, what lovely female vocals; Imogen Heap - I knew I'd heard that name somewhere before. I just never payed attention to it. Man, I have to buy her solo CD now.

Oh, an update on the anorexic chick that freaked me out at the Baron's (Andrew's) party: she has been exposed. Her parents flew up to see her. The school is going to make her sign a contract that says she can only remain a student here at wash U if she enters a rehab program and afterwards maintains a healthy weight. Hah. Poor thing. Now you've gone and done it. Thank god people care about you!

Speaking of a distinct lack of fat, influenza is nothing short of a miracle diet. I mean, it's gotta be the only program that lives up to those "lose 5lbs in 5 days" claims you see in the back of women's magazines. Seriously. I woke up this morning a hip-jutting 115lbs. GAH! I was 120lbs on sunday. Despite the extra snax and bedrest granted by my week off, you can now see my ribs through the top of my chest.

There is only one cure. It begins with Ch- and ends with -eesecake. Hot diggity damn!

If you want in, ladies, you better hurry. This flu won't last forever. The innoculation is a very simple procedure - just come over, and i'll make out with you for a while. My number is . . .


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