Wednesday, May 31, 2006
or
Take Ten Hail Marys, And Call Me In The Morning
Zack and I went to Colorado this past weekend to visit his extended family and watch his brother, Robin, graduate. It was a good time, all told. His aunts are some of the most amusing women I've ever met, and they seem to like me, to boot.
However, gentle readers, I am now convinced that my bladder is cursed. CURSED! For every time I leave town to meet my boyfriend's (and now husband's) extended family, I contract a urinary tract infection. And this was no "ow it burns when I pee" UTI. Oh no. This was the "Shit, I didn't sleep at all last night because I was doubled over with kidney pain and fever chills" kind of UTI.
EVERY FUCKING TIME! It's not enough that I have to memorize the names and relationships of 294 people I've never met before, remember my table manners, hold in my cuss words, and refrain from grabbing Zack's ass. No. I have to suddenly come down with one of the most irritating feminine ailments known to humankind. Hey, In-laws! I just married your nephew! Bet you can't guess why my ureathra's on fire!
*SHAME*
I'm not a religious woman, but when I have a UTI, I suddenly find my Catholic roots. Every time I piss, I find myself involuntarily screaming "GOOD SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!" or "HOLY HANNAH!" or my personal favorite - "Jeh-HEE-zus aich CHRIST ALLMIGHTY! Phew. There has gotta be a Saint I can pray to.
It really really sucked. Thankfully, Aunt Patty was nice enough to take me to the doctor. I'm on the mend.
In other news, I spotted a truly uplifting banner in the Seventh Day Adventist church wherein Robin was Baptized on Friday night:
. . . ALL OVER YOUR FACE! I once was blind, but now I see.
