Sunday, January 07, 2007

Oh my god, I can't believe that anyone still reads this piece of shit. I was going to write a post saying that Shiny Objects was over - that it had been a good run, and thank you all very much for participating. However, when I took a gander at my site meter, the 43 hit per day average gave me pause. Someone must still like me. Someone must still want to read a little bit more . . .

I've become someone I don't like very much, gentle readers. I work all the time now. Morning, noon, night. Even on my days off, I constantly seek supplimental income to support my 3 person/1 income household. One husband, one roommate, and myself all live off of my earnings. I feel like a single mother.

It's pathetic. No longer do I have the time or mental energy for leasure. Aside from the occasional bout of drinking, I can't remember the last time I've allowed myself to relax.

And it is driving me crazy. I've turned into a heinous bitch most of the time. The worst part is, I don't see an end to it any time soon. No matter how hard I try, I can't get rid of my debt. I can scarcely make ends meet. No matter how much I beg for support, I always find myself carrying the financial burden.

I know my temperment is ill-suited for life and its many pressures, but something about the situation seems excessive. I can't stop fantasizing about suicide. Not that I actually want to die, but I do long for an irreversable and abrupt event to completely rearrange my existence and remove me from the current circumstances.

There is only one thing that would help, so don't bother yourselves trying to cheer me up. Find Zack a job, if anything.

shiny objects