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shiny objects

Friday, April 13, 2007


Concrete Rose Sucks
or
The Worst Batchelor Party Ever


Child of Mists: dude, i went to see this "burlesque" troupe
Child of Mists: the only one in the city
Child of Mists: it was the most pissweak thing i'd ever seen
GrimJim in exile: Yeah? I'm sensing you don't think they're much competition...
Child of Mists: i mean, even if they called themselves a plain old dance company, it still would have been a patently stupid show
Child of Mists: they didn't go down beyond bustiers and mini skirts
GrimJim in exile: The burlesque I've seen up here went down to pasties, easy.
Child of Mists: they weren't even hot.
Child of Mists: it reminded me of my highschool talent show
GrimJim in exile: Hahaha!
Child of Mists: at least our cheerleaders had tight choreography
Child of Mists: Ugh, so these girls danced to all modern music, too
Child of Mists: like, christina aguilerra. like lenny kravitz
GrimJim in exile: Sounds sad. Maybe they are merely PCD wannabes.
Child of Mists: pcd?
GrimJim in exile: Pussycat Dolls.
Child of Mists: yes. YES. that's what it was like
Child of Mists: exactly
Child of Mists: actually that is exactly what it was like
Child of Mists: except with ungainly, rhythmless dancing from half of the foursome
GrimJim in exile: Yeah, they started off in burlesque. I guess that's what passes for it in some places.
Child of Mists: one girl was so strung out on meth and starved to death that she looked like a dancing skeleton
Child of Mists: she was so weak she couldn't move her chair during the routine
Child of Mists: a stage hand had to help her move it
Child of Mists: a folding chair
Child of Mists: but i'm not even done
GrimJim in exile: It gets worse?
Child of Mists: so, out of their alotted hour, they did about 20 minutes worth of dancing, took a huge 35 minute break with no filler, and then came back for what was apparently the grand finale . ..
Child of Mists: five minutes.
Child of Mists: one girl didn't even reappear until halfway through the song
Child of Mists: obviously fucked up
Child of Mists: it gets better
GrimJim in exile: No filler? Geez. The show that I saw in town had a guy do his take on Vaudeville style comedy, talking to the audience with his routine.
Child of Mists: that's what I'm going to do!
Child of Mists: get a juggler or somebody and an MC
GrimJim in exile: Right on!
Child of Mists: so, at this final act, we find that it's actually someone's batchelor party
Child of Mists: and that's why they were hired in the first place
Child of Mists: so they drag the guy on stage, put him in the middle
Child of Mists: and completely ignore him
Child of Mists: they didn't even look at him as they danced
Child of Mists: he was there, stone cold in the center, wondering how to involve himself, and every time he'd try to dance with them or something, they'd push him away
Child of Mists: he was obviously not having a good time
GrimJim in exile: Sounds like they've got big egos with no room for others.
Child of Mists: yeah
Child of Mists: and then . . . get this
GrimJim in exile: *nod*
Child of Mists: the crowd is made entirely out of the most bland generation Y hipsters you could ever find
Child of Mists: and they clap
Child of Mists: they give a standing ovation
Child of Mists: arturo and I had an 8 person table to ourselves
Child of Mists: no one wanted to sit with us. we weren't even scary looking!
Child of Mists: but we weren't little snotnosed emo kids
Child of Mists: there were people standing in the corner, rather than sit with us
GrimJim in exile: Boomer babies, spoiled by a spoiled generation.
Child of Mists: and the troupe gets an ovation
Child of Mists: how sad is my generation that such a pathetic performance merits a standing ovation?
Child of Mists: i mean, what the hell
GrimJim in exile: Maybe merely for the guts to get on stage at all and humiliate a guy?
Child of Mists: what the hell.
Child of Mists: they're a burlesque troupe. getting on stage is mandatory
GrimJim in exile: How inebriated was the crowd?
Child of Mists: not very
Child of Mists: ever notice that the emo hipster kids just don't know how to have a good time
Child of Mists: no one doing shots
GrimJim in exile: Probably too poor? Heh.
Child of Mists: whatever. i saw their phones
GrimJim in exile: Spent all their money on clothes and phones.
Child of Mists: yeah
Child of Mists: maybe
GrimJim in exile: Generation iPod can't afford a drink?
Child of Mists: that, or they're terminally dull
Child of Mists: i think they can
Child of Mists: i think they're just idiots
Child of Mists: these days, you can't walk up and chat with someone in a bar
Child of Mists: even if you're not hitting on 'em
Child of Mists: but whatever
GrimJim in exile: All caught up in their little cellphone-mediated cliques?
Child of Mists: The best part of this was the name of the "burlesque" troupe.
Child of Mists: Concrete Rose
Child of Mists: i think it's stupid
Child of Mists: now, i don't know about you, but the image called forth to my imagination by the juxtposition of building materials and a floral cliche isn't exactly sexy . . .
Child of Mists: it's . . . well, essentially what i saw last night
GrimJim in exile: Well, "concrete rose" makes me think of an old Concrete Blonde song.
GrimJim in exile: "Up through the cracks... [redacted] roses grow..."
Child of Mists: it makes me think of crack whores
GrimJim in exile: Well, yeah, run-down Hollywood.
GrimJim in exile: Heh. Their choice in name is a bit pedestrian. It doesn't echo enough of the past that you want to evoke.
GrimJim in exile: They're merely run down and recycled.