Selling Out
or
My Only Hate, Sprung From My Greatest Love
When I first discovered Pandora, I embraced it with joy, never knowing that some months later, it would become the leading device in my slow, but sure, sell out. Oh dear lord. Oh dear sweet jesus.
As I have mentioned briefly before, my latest hairbrained exploit has taken the form of weekly DJ lessons with DJ Steve (or Icey White, as he was once called), the DJ at my club. First bartending, now this. Who knows if these pipe dreams will actually make it anywhere. But I digress.
Obviously, my knowledge of hip hop, rap, and R and B . . . in a word . . . sucks. And that's how I like it, damnit. Nothing but the finest electronica, 80's, and psychidelic rock for yours truly. Well, no longer. I don't mind brushing up on alternative rock and punk. However, "black" music, as I've always called it (very un P.C., but most accurate) is very very popular these days. Fucking cultural takeover, it is. Ugh.
There's nothing wrong with the beat. I love trip-hop, for example. You know, a dose of the old Bristol sound. It's the fucking lyrics, for the most part. Ladies, mercedes, want some more, get on the floor, nice and ice, grills and bills, *puke*. That and the rap. I have never been able to enjoy rap. I mean, aside from a very very few isolated songs - like "Intergalactic" by the Beasty Boys, for example. Or Drop it Like It's Hot by Snoop Dogg. And stuff.
I gotta bite the bullet.
My search for greater knowledge began with the top 50 pop hits. I swear, 5 out of 6 songs are hip hop or R and B of some sort. Ok. Nothing I didn't already know.
So I ran over to Pandora and tentatively popped "Fergie" into the station generator. Pay dirt. All the top crap. I swear after a minute, I wanted to puke. After an hour, I realized that I would never get that hour of my life back. After two, I was convinced that pop music is a mass media conspiracy.
Over that two hour period, I not only heard almost every song we play in the club on a nightly basis (minus the smattering of rock and dance), but that most of those 30+ songs were by the same 4 artists. Oh. My. God. Ciara, Beyonce, Fergie, Gwen Stefani. Shoot me now. Now. NOW!!!! Somehow, I never imagined that we'd play seven to ten Fergie/Black Eyed Peas songs in one night. What the fuck.
I gotta get to work. It's almost 7.30 now.
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